"Use What You've Been Given"

So even when I think I am about to go to bed worry free and fall into peaceful slumbers, I am wrong.  A few years back I would wake up with horrible headaches and my face would hurt after waking up.  I know it sounds silly to say one's face hurt, but it did.  My doctor couldn't figure it out, but after a routine dental check-up, my dentist did.  Appearently I'm a grinder.  This sounds a little like a horror film in the making, but simply put, I grind my teeth when I sleep.  It is of course associated with anxiety levels and stress at times, but because it happens when I am unconscious, there isn't much I can do.

Except for this: my own personal night guard.  It is custom fit to my teeth and even comes with it's own pink case.  Once placed in my mouth, it protects my top teeth from my bottom.  It even gives me a new way of talking that is irresistable.  (Ok...not really at all...)  So I had this thing made, used it, and then of course stopped...until a couple years laters (present time) when my new dentist casually asked if I woke up with headaches or if my face hurt.  "Why yes, it does of late", I exclaimed, "and I have this thing I should probably wear at night, right?"  Dr. AMAYSing nodded her head and said something along the lines of, "you would think you would use what you've been given". 

"You would think you would use what you've been given" - I wonder how many times God looks down at us humans and exclaims the same thing.  I know there are times when I have felt I can't do something or I don't have what I need to have and I am almost always humbly reminded my someone wiser than me (yes, a mother or father or aunt or college chaplain) that I do have what I need and I have all the time.  It doesn't always come perfectly fit with it's own pink case, but God has provided for me.

Part of the fun for me in college was discovering the gifts I have and developing them to the best of my abilities - for example, working on my voice.  It was almost surreal when I would be practicing or performing and things just clicked how they were supposed to.  Mind you, it did not happen over night - it took lots of time of me with an instructor or alone in a practice room late at night in creepy Craig Hall.  But that work, that practice was so worth it when I looked at my listeners or saw the approval in my instructor's eyes.  I was using what God has given me in a good way.

Working with youth this lesson has stuck with me.  Part of youth ministry leadership is guiding and encouraging these fresh minds and eager hearts to use what God has given them.  It is so exciting when a youth completes a mission project and stands back amazed at what they have done; they are proud of themselves (as they should be!) and as a youth worker, we need to affirm what good they do.  We should affirm the gifts they possess, regardless of shape, size, talent level!   Our group would have been so boring if all of us sang; we needed some people who could put us in order, or play the drums, or provide other gifts.  I've been blessed to have people in the past and present affirm my gifts and who gently remind me to "use what I've been given", and I pray God continues to work in me so I can better serve him.

Prayer: Generous God, you alone are holy and mighty.  I thank you for the gifts you've given me and also the guidance you've provided.  I pray you continue to guide me in my call as a follower of Christ and remind me what a blessed Child of God I am.  In your name, Amen.

Columbia Theological Seminary

A part of CTS Campus

Just when I think I've got this blog stuff down, I have copious amounts of trouble uploading pics.  Ok, so slight exaggeration.  <- Here is where I am - it's gorgeously green despite the little bushes in front of the sign.  In fact, since crossing through Mississippi, that's one of the biggest things I've noticed - GREEN.  When I mentioned it to some peers, they just launched into the drought they been in and the likes, but I still was stuck on it being green.  Driving around Texas this time of year (especially this year) I felt more like I was on an alien island of brown and dust.  Especially when I was 




digging in that dust as a service project
 trying to plant flowers.  This campus is gorgeous (well, to me.) and I was reminded the other day when walking around how much it reminded me of the Austin College campus where I studied for my undergrad.  Give me red brick and I'm sold I guess!


In the past 24 hours, I've become more aware of my surroundings - here on campus, and in relation to the city.  Before I venture anywhere, I google map it and then copy it on a post-it note.  I then take said note, put it on my dash, and venture out.  I don't have one of those super smart phones that shows me where and how I should be going, but find it semi-exciting to try and follow my post-it note instructions and have my map close by.  


The verse I randomly opened my bible to this evening when I was getting ready for a time of prayer made me laugh out loud - Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and leanot on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." I underlined that last part because there often are times when I am driving in this new city and am not quite sure where I am, despite having my post-it note and map.  I say a quick prayer, normally something along the lines of this, "Oh God, please let me going where I need to be going".  I don't say, "let this be the right way" or "get me home" but give it all to God to get me where I need to be going.  I find this even more humorous because a year ago I thought where I needed to be going was into the middle school classroom, yet here I am going in as a student.  Needless to say, God gets me where I need to be going; I don't always recognize it at first, but that is part of the fun.  Completely trusting in Him to lead me.  Scary at times and highly uncomfortable, but always right.


Prayer: Abba Father - you provide so much to so many.  Please remind us who are so graciously blessed to share what we have with others.  I thank you for your guidance even when I don't fully recognize it.  I ask you to be with my friends who are hurting and give  them peace knowing you're with them and taking care of them.  In your name I pray, Amen.

Home

Just a quick post tonight - lots on my mind.  
HOME. 
 This word and all it encompasses has been weighing on my heart of late.  I am addicted to listening to books on cd while driving, and randomly chose Julie Andrews' memoir Home.  I mainly chose this a) because she reads it, b) she is my childhood still my hero, and c) umm, hellooo, it's JULIE ANDREWS.  It has been an absolute delight, but it wasn't until about a couple hours into it, when I was leaving the Texas state line, that it hit me:  HOME.  Julie Andrews was describing in loving tenderness her home and I realized, "OMG, I just left all I know of home!"  Upon arrival to my new living quarters, I was startled to realize I didn't even bring a stuffed animal or any kind of "homey" object (unless of course coffee mugs count...).


Leaving home is hard.  Even as a grown adult, I can say that.  Walking into my parent's house, I immediately disregard my shoes, sort through mail, find the cat, and then meander over to the fridge.  Here in my room at Columbia, I don't even own a fridge!

Family pet Charlie waiting to go "home" on cold day.  Feb 2011

Hearing Julie (I can call her that, her being my idol and all...) talk about her growing up and what made home has really made me think, and of course cry, in thinking of my home.  It is more than just the building, it is the sights, sounds, smells, and love that is thrown all together and made right somehow.  Even when it is empty of the cacophony of sounds that make up my family, it is home.  I miss it right now, and I know I will miss it later too.  


It is hard for me right now to imagine my room as "home".  Today upon ending our YMLI event, a prayer was said for safe travels returning home.  In my mind I was thinking, "If only!  I just walk across a sidewalk!".  As if she could read my mind, the lovely minister facilitator turned to me and said, "And prayers for Katy as she establishes a new home here at Columbia, in this community, and transitions."  After the day I've had, my eyes welled up and I was ever so grateful for that prayer.  


Where is your home?  What makes it home?  


The more I think about it, my home is where I feel Christ's abundant love and spirit at work.  Home is where I know I am recognized and loved completely for the child of God I am.  Home, truly is, where the heart is.  And I plan on following Jesus' instructions and look forward to "returning home...to tell how much God has done for me" (Luke8:39).


Prayer: Abba Father, help my heart, mind, and eyes be open to all I discover in my new home.  Be with my family during this trying time and help them to feel your presence.  Help them to know how much I love and miss them.  I pray for those on the coast; help them to know "The Storm is Passing O'er" and they are in your care.  Thank you for the prayers and kind words heard today, and I ask for safe travels as old and new YMLI friends travel home.  In Your name I pray, Amen. 

Concerning the Call

I've probably spent way too much time thinking of a clever witty title for this blog that I may just be settling, but I chose "Concerning the Call" for a couple of reasons I'd like to share.

1) It sounds less conceited than "Katy's Call" but still contains some alliteration. And we all know how much I love alliteration - close but not quite as much as peanut butter.

2) This blog is about my call - my call to ministry and where I belong. A term that is often used is "discerning", but as I stated earlier, I do like my alliteration. I looked up the definition of discerning and it is defined as "having or showing good judgement" while concerning is defined as "on the subject of or in connection with". While I pray my discerning will prove true to this definition, at this time, I mostly feel I am dealing with the subject of my call, and all that comes with it.

3) I even thought about adding "...at Columbia" for more alliteration, but I anticipate (and have already experienced) much in connection with my call not here on this campus. I find some excitement and joy knowing God works beyond classrooms and state lines and anticipate all He has planned for me.

4) The word "concern" can have numerous connotations beyond just being connected. You can be concerned about a loved one's health, or concerned about the weather. While some might think of "concern" leaning more towards the negative side, it honestly means to be engaged in something. I have engaged on a journey here at Columbia Theological Seminary that is life changing already. I find it interesting that a synonym for "concern" is "touch" - that to me expresses a more intimate engagement. In some ways I imagine God is concerned with me - reaching out, touching, engaging the Holy Spirit at work in my life in ways I never imagined.

5) And finally, no one had any better ideas. Or even if they did, they didn't tell me.

So, long story short: this blog concerns my call. I am moved in (well, mostly...) here at Columbia Theological Seminary in Decatur, GA for school. I am excited about it all but really do miss my friends and family back in the great state of Texas. Orientation doesn't begin for a week, but I'm here attending a Youth Ministry Leadership Initiative (YMLI) seminar on Soul Tending. No worries, you'll hear more about it tomorrow. I'll fill y'all in on all my hopes, dreams, goals, and much more later, but do want to leave you with a bible verse that has been following me around of late. (And that's a good thing.)

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope, and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Prayer: Heavenly Father, I give thanks for save travels and all those who serve in keeping the roads of our nation safe. I praise you for this wonderful world you have made and all the beauty within it. I thank you for the countless blessings you have provided in my life, especially the amazing ones' back home in TX. I ask for courage as I begin this journey and pray I remember you do have plans for me. In your Holy name I pray, Amen.