I've noticed in the past year the frequency I've been asked this one question on a regular basis:
"So, are you married?"
The first couple times I was asked (on a Sunday morning I might add), I truly was in shock that this question was seriously being asked of me. What happened to asking the basics:
"How are you doing?"
"How's the weather?"
"Where are you from?"
After recovering from the shock of the question, I often would just make a joke about how I only had time for school, and there was plenty of time to think about marriage.
Just not this morning.
At church.
This question isn't just asked by one type of person or one age group or even just by males or females.
But as a twenty-eight going on twenty-nine year old single woman, I get asked it often.
I'd be lying if I said it doesn't bother me, because it does. Not in the "oh, you're alone, single, and getting older" manner, but in this lifestyle I've chosen. Or in thinking what is expected of me.
I watch with admiration my peers who come to school with their spouses and families. It is not an easy thing whether single or partnered to uproot all that is familiar for the journey called Seminary. Coming to ATL with just me, myself, and I has been a freeing experience. I am able to focus on my school work, my discernment, and my passions. I've been able to do things I never imagined I would do, like spend a summer in Chapel Hill, NC as an Intern or choose to study abroad in another country (Spring 2014!). Just typing these things out I feel selfish, but I shouldn't.
This is what life is about, right?
Learning?
Growth?
Adventure?
This isn't to say I lead this lonely and isolated life. I have meaningful relationships with friend here on campus as well as friends back home. My family ties seem strengthened through this distance. The time we spend together is shorter but oh so much more meaningful; I treasure the simple act of just drinking coffee with my siblings in the mornings in ways I never did before. (Maybe this is just a sign of getting older...)
So, am I defying what "is normal" just because there is no man by my side? Should I be concerned that the life of a house, husband, and 2.5 children seems light years away? Is this something I should be praying for?
I don't think so.
I think of the prophet Jeremiah and the letter he wrote to the exiles from Jerusalem in Babylon. It is a verse that is printed on my business cards: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)
(Of course, this letter includes instructions for the exiles, including ones to get married and increase in numbers. The irony.)
So while it is sometimes tempting to pray for that chance encounter with a handsome fella who turns out to be Mr. Right and we have the happily ever after life with twins, a cat, and a dog (not that I've thought about this at all), I choose to pray for discernment.
I choose to pray for God's will be done.
And I pray that I be wise enough (and willing) to listen and hear what God is calling me to.
On a completely different note, this is the Disney moment I always think when people say they will pray for me to find my husband.
