Wednesday, December 4, 2013

It's Beginning to Look Alot Like...

It's beginning to look alot like...Christmas, yes...but here on the CTS campus, here are some other words that might fit:

Finals

Schoolwork

Papers

Projects

End-of-year (a mouthful, I know)

Homestretch

and lastly, maybe this one:

It's beginning to look alot like chaos. 

That's how I feel.

In addition to end of term things such as schoolwork and meetings and the likes, for me it is also wrapping up my business here on the campus and getting things in order for studying abroad next term.  Wrapping up business here means everything from making sure my paperwork is in order to packing suitcases to cleaning my bathroom and making sure there are clean sheets on my bed (if you have met my mother, you get this...).

  I will be gone from the CTS campus for EIGHT months!  I might have a weekend here in April, but that's about it!  

I'll be at Westminster College in Cambridge, UK for ten weeks beginning January 6 (prayers are appreciated!), then spend a few weeks worshipping and living at the Taize community (if all goes well!), and hopefully get to Iona, Scotland as well for some worshipping experience.  

Then it's TEXAS for the summer (God willing!) for my Clinical Pastoral Education at a North Texas hospital!

While all these things are VERY EXCITING and GOOD, I can't help but feel overwhelmed with it all.  

And to be completely honest, this week I came back to campus and Advent and Christmas about 90% in a not so happy-go-lucky-Christmas-spirit-share-cheer-everywhere kind of mood.  Part of that might be because the Friday before returning to campus we said our final goodbyes to my grandmother, part might be just dealing with loss from earlier this year, and part might be due to my lack of sleep. 

Regardless, on Monday, I felt like this:

And it's the week of the CTS Christmas Banquet.  That I'm co-chairing. 

(And this, my friends, is where God provides...)

My co-chair has worn AMAZING Christmas sweaters every day this week. And they truly are breath taking.  She has been so full of Christmas cheer and joy and happy thoughts that it has been enough for the both of us, and contagious to boot!


I have inadvertently had time made to talk about things near and dear to my heart and to hearts of others on our campus.  Not all these conversations have been easy, but all have been productive.  We've voiced opinions and feelings that are different and sometimes difficult to hear, and have been heard with this spirit of grace.  

These conversations have been in classes, on living room floors, meetings, cars (it was turned off!) and even just in passing. 

Maybe in this rush to finish things I find myself lingering and holding to the comforts that come in impromptu conversations with the roommate where we confess that in the midst of the disappointments and frustrations of the church, we are so excited and hopeful for the church to come. 

And all of a sudden, it's not so much about the school work and the rushing to get things done, because they will get done.  

Tonight, in this season of Advent, a time where I find myself struggling with darkness and light, it is enough to hope. 


The people who walked in darkness
    have seen a great light;
those who lived in a land of deep darkness
    on them light has shined.

- Isaiah 9:2






Thursday, October 17, 2013

Sharing Stories

I love to tell the story,
’Twill be my theme in glory,
To tell the old, old story
Of Jesus and His love.

About this time of year, Columbia Theological Seminary launches the "phonathon" here on campus.  For those of you unfamiliar with this term, here’s  what it is: students are encouraged by the Development Office to sign up and get compensated to make phone calls to Alumni, Friends, and more to ask for gifts for the Annual Fund.
So, basically, we are calling and asking for money.  Just as many of our churches are entering a time of Stewardship, we here at Columbia are doing the same kind of thing.

Except we have to call total strangers.
And talk to them.
And then ask them for money.

And let's be honest for a second...most of you all who receive a phone call around 7-9 in the evening on your HOME phone have an idea of why we're calling...
I've never been able to participate in this fun event, so this year I thought I would give it a whirl.

I love to tell the story, ’tis pleasant to repeat,
What seems each time I tell it more wonderfully sweet;
I love to tell the story, for some have never heard
The message of salvation from God’s own holy Word.

I'm going to be honest here - the first night I felt like I was having heart palpitations before making these phone calls.  I might be the absolute worst cold caller known to mankind... I really am not a fan of asking people for money.  Even when I worked at Panera and would have to tell people the amount they owed for their Frontega Chicken Panini and Loaded Potato soup combo, I would quietly whisper (with a tad bit of guilt in my voice) the amount they owed as if I was airing their dirty little secrets into the earnest ears of the waiting customers behind them.

So on my first evening of working the phonathon, I was anxious, and not so secretly praying no one would pick up the phone.

But people did pick up the phone.

And an amazing thing happened...

The palpitations stopped, and I got to share a piece of my story of how I am here at Columbia Theological Seminary with these alumni, friends, and even the random people who weren't even sure how they ended up on our calling list.

I love to tell the story, more wonderful it seems
Than all the golden fancies of all our golden dreams;
I love to tell the story, it did so much for me,
And that is just the reason I tell it now to thee.

And then, an even better thing happened.
I was privileged to hear a part of their stories.

Stories of what Columbia was like in 1952, 1988, or even 2010.  Stories of what it was like to be the spouse of a seminarian or child of a seminarian.  Stories of what ministry looked like and how their call developed, adapted, and surprised them.  Stories of how they heard about this school in Decatur, GA, even if they never were a part of the actual community.


In those first two hours, I was doing ministry in a way I never imagined.  Yes, I was asking for money for this school I hold so dearly in my heart, but I was listening to what people had to say.  It was a bit like a roller coaster ride – I congratulated people on new calls, mourned with those who had lost a spouse, laughed at stories involving professors, and was even made a little jealous by some of the work that these people have done (if only I could be more of an artist!!).

I love to tell the story, for those who know it best
Seem hungering and thirsting to hear it like the rest;
And when in scenes of glory I sing the new, new song,
’Twill be the old, old story that I have loved so long.

We live in a culture that has encouraged us to tune out – or if we want to be heard, we should make it in under 140 characters or with an entertaining picture and caption.  The act of listening is just that – an ACT.  Talk to anyone who has spent time in a classroom and they can tell you about the different styles of listening – active – false – deep – casual – informative – partial – total – there’s lots of ways to listen!  And sometimes I am in AWE of what I hear, especially in hearing personal stories.

I love to tell the story of unseen things above,
Of Jesus and His glory, of Jesus and His love;
I love to tell the story, because I know ’tis true,
It satisfies my longings as nothing else would do.

I’m pretty sure Jesus was a good listener.  I like to think listening was a BIG part of his ministry – the woman at the well, Zacchaeus, even to his (sometimes whiney) disciples. Jesus was also good at sharing stories. 
I’ve included in this post the lyrics to one of my favorite hymns that I associate with one of my favorite story tellers – my Peepa.  I Love to Tell the Story is a hymn about sharing that story of Jesus and Jesus’ love.  I don’t think it is a coincidence that through sharing our stories or sharing the stories for those who cannot speak that we often find ourselves immersed in the love of Jesus.  

So as I anxiously continue to participate in our phonathon, I will remember the kind and encouraging words from one of the callers, “This is a hard thing to do, but good job for doing it”.  I will remember the laughs I encounter, the memories I’m privileged to hear, the well wishes wished, and too, the hurts and pains of those I encounter.  And while seeking gifts for the CTS community, I will remember the gifts I'm being blessed with.

 I love to tell the story,
’Twill be my theme in glory,
To tell the old, old story
Of Jesus and His love.






Saturday, September 14, 2013

Back to School

A few weeks ago I had the honor to sing at a friend's wedding. Her wedding day coincided with the time of year we actually met, and as I reflect on leaving the great state of Texas for another exciting semester of seminary, I can't help but remember the story of our friendship.

Ten years ago (!) that weekend, I stepped out of the family minivan on Grand Avenue in Sherman, Texas, excited to finally be at school.  Austin College starts a bit later than most schools, so all my friends had already begun the new exciting journey called college.  Before stepping out of the car, I had just promised myself that I would be starting this adventure with an open mind - I was ready to make new friends and "be" Katy Walters.  I had willed myself to just greet the first person I met and go!

 The lovely lady who was married was the first person I met on that curb outside our dorm.  We walked up to each other, introduced ourselves (VERY enthusiastically), and were pretty much inseparable the entire fall semester.  Our enthusiasm and energy and love for life was contagious.   Through this friend, I met two other gals who joined us in our romping around campus, and to this day - they are still some of my closest buds.  
The Princesas at my Senior Recital 
As I get ready back to school, I recognize I'm a little beat.  I didn't get out of my car upon pulling up to campus with that energy I had when I started at Austin College so many years ago.  My thought upon arriving to CTS was, "here's the to do list for tomorrow." 

This summer was an amazing whirlwind of traveling, laughter, amazing meals and stories shared.  It's been a summer of learning and affirming of gifts.   It's been a summer full of keeping commitments, writing papers, preparing for ordination exams, and some late nights full of coffee and Migliore.  It's been an emotional summer with losing my Meem and my Peepa, and the highs and lows that come with those kind of meetings where really important things are decided.  It's been a good summer, but I am feeling a bit empty. 

Having met some of our new students at Columbia, I am a wee bit jealous at their enthusiasm and energy they are bringing to their first semester of seminary.  I like to be the one full of life and enthusiasm!  

And I know I will be.  
I know with some rest I will be back to my ever so encouraging, cheerful self.  
I've been reading Psalm 37 daily - using it as a prayer as I return to school. 

Trust in the Lord, and do good;
so you will live in the land and enjoy security.
Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in him, and he will act.
He will make your vindication shine like the light,
and the justice of your cause like the noonday.

Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for him;
do not fret over those who prosper in their way,
over those who carry our evil devices.


 
 
 I pray that the energy from our new class is contagious and it rejuvenates my spirit. 
I pray I always remember the call I have answered - the call that energizes me and gets my blood flowing. 
I pray that I remember what an amazing gift it is to be able to study freely and ask, seek, and knock on this faith journey.  
I pray I fully "commit my way to the Lord" - including the trusting bit.  My God hasn't led me this far to leave me hanging!
And mostly right now, I pray offering thanksgiving for the wonderful support I receive in prayer, phone calls, letters, emails and texts.  It sustains me and gives me little "oomphs" as I journey on. 
I may be a little beat, but I am blessed.  And for that, I give thanks. 

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Shall We Gather at the River

 I cannot believe that tonight is my last night in Chapel Hill for this summer internship.  I'm being specific with the dates because I've fallen in love with this area they call "the Triangle" (despite it's 100% humidity at times) - and I intend to come back.  It has been such a blessing to worship, learn, teach, preach, sing, dance, play, read, eat, and just be with this community called UPC.  

I truly have felt a part of this congregation, and not just because they have to be nice to me and like me as their intern for the summer (which, I hope really never happens anywhere...).  

The past few weeks have felt like a whirlwind due to unexpected life events then followed by a week long mission trip with the youth to Hinton, West Virginia with Appalachian Service Project, then wrapping up my last week here in the church.  


I know all good things come to an end.  I know it is good that I am returning home to things familiar.  I know it is good that I set up my summer so I would have the next few weeks to focus on Ordination Exams and not be too super stressed out about them.  (Which, let's be honest, I still am semi-super stressed out about them...)  

It is good that I am going to be able to worship at my home church for more than just one quick Sunday!
It is good that I will be going to my 10 year high school reunion! (gulp!)
It is good that I will be able to spend some time with my ailing grandfather!


But, it still is sad to say goodbye. 


So, I've been cheating.  I've been telling all the good folk here, "see you later".  

And I mean it.

  I want to see them later - at Montreat or some fun conference type thing.  
Or in Atlanta, should they decide to swing through for a visit. 
Or however or wherever God arranges for us to meet.  


One of the neat things I've done here at UPC is one of the things I love to do best.  I had the opportunity to sing a beautiful arrangement of "Shall We Gather at the River" with an awesome guy who also happens to be an awesome baritone.  Jim was a chaperone for the Montreat Youth Conference and when we sat together in the pews for worship and sang, it was awesome.  

He would harmonize, I would harmonize, the youth would harmonize.  
It was a little bit magical at times.  
(The people in front of us even said how much they loved our harmonies...and I don't think they were being sarcastic...).

Anyways, we thought it would be fun to sing at church - and we did!  They even thought to record it!  Listen to it by clicking the link above or this one. 

**I'll be honest - this song was picked way ahead of time, and then something happened that made this song even more precious to me.  I'll write about it soon, but getting through this song was TOUGH (with a capitol T).  Singing and crying were not made to co-exist, despite what the opera world would have you think.**  

Regardless, enjoy. 

 It was a pleasure to sing and worship God in one of my favorite ways, and share it with others.  
And, it is one of many, many, many fond memories I will have from my time here at UPC. 





Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Sermon: "Gerunds of Faith: Christian Practices Worth Practicing: 6. Eating"

Here is the sermon I praught from this past Sunday.  At some time, I might dive into the things going through my mind while writing, but for now, I will just say it was a wonderful Sunday.  My parents have been in North Carolina visiting, and it has been great playing tourist with them, as well as to just sit at the table and share a meal together.  
Here is the church, there is the steeple...

Open the doors, and see all the people! (Well, ok, one person...)


As we continue our summer series, Gerunds of Faith: Christian Practices worth Practicing, most of the practices we have looked at have hit home in my own personal experience.  In hearing the sermons on thanking, welcoming, working, resting, and singing, I could think of practical ways to better nurture and develop these practices in my Christian life, for the sake of developing a deeper relationship with God.

And then comes eating. 

Thinking about eating as a Christian practice can make one anxious. This isn’t to say we can’t or don’t see, taste, and feel the sacred that comes in gathering around tables;
The sacred is there, whether the feast is an elaborately set table of bread and wine or a worn picnic table at a camp with numerous 2nd graders feasting on animal crackers and watermelon. We recognize there is something holy about coming together, blessings and breaking bread.

But thinking of eating as a Christian practice can fit into the gray of the world; eating isn’t something so special or so unique for just “us” Christians.  As author Sara Miles puts it, “food is what people have in common, and it is precisely common”1.
To break bread and share in communion is one thing, but what does eating as a Christian practice demand we practice?   How does our eating fit into the picture the world sees as Christendom?

 My mind is flooded in rapid fire succession of questions such as:
·        How do we “seriously” look at eating through the lens of a spiritual practice combined with our discipline, or lack there of regarding food.
·       
1 Miles, Sara.  Take this Bread.  New York: The Random House, 2007. p



 How does animal cruelty, eco-sustainability, vegetarianism, and food scarcity fit within the discussion of eating as a spiritual practice or does it even play a part?

·        Does engaging in this practice really mean we should say a grace before every meal?  Even the one consumed in the car in between sport practices and music lessons to the one where are all gathered around the table at home? 

·        How does scripture play a role within this Christian practice? Do we take the Old Testament food laws seriously? I’m not sure if I’m ready to say goodbye to bacon…
While these questions seem a bit silly to some, all are similar thoughts that come to the mind of many when asked to consider eating as a Christian practice.

What is it about eating that makes it seem different than the other practices we have looked at?  Eating is not some mysterious concept; it happens quite often within the Bible.  Is it the fact the eating is often something we do without thinking?  In the most animalistic nature, we feel we are hungry, and if we are so able, we respond: we eat.  In Food and Faith: A Theology of Eating, Theologian Norman Wirzba reminds the reader that “eating is no idle or trifling activity…for any creature to live, countless seen and unseen others must die, …..  eating is the daily reminder of our own need and mortality”2  

This reminder of our own need to eat and our own mortality is illustrated in our reading from Deuteronomy this morning.  The chosen people of God are on the cusp of being done with the lifestyle of wandering; they are soon to be home.  The good and promised land flowing with milk and honey is in their near future.    This portion of the text gives them a commandment –to remember as they continue on their journey:
Don’t forget about the God who didn’t forget about you when you felt the real pains of hunger, the God who went above and beyond providing not just bread of the earth, לֶחֶם for you, but provided manna מָן – heavenly sustenance - for all of you, despite your whining and disobedience.  These people didn’t have to meet any criteria in order to receive these provisions.  God provided despite it all. 
2 Wirzba, Norman.  Food and Faith: A Theology of Eating.  New York: Cambridge University Press, 2011

What God asks of them as they enter their new land, the good land, a land with flowing streams, with springs and underground waters welling up in valleys and hills, a land of wheat and barley, of vines and fig trees and pomegranates, a land of olive trees and honey, a land where they may eat bread without scarcity, where they will lack nothing –

All God asks of them is to remember- remember how God provided – how their clothes didn’t fall of their backs, how they avoided swollen feet.   Keep God’s commandments, walk in God’s ways and fear the Lord.  God asks of the people that when they eat their fill, do it in remembrance of me.
Carla Pratt Keyes makes this connection with the Deuteronomy story3:
            “Those forty years were a time in their lives when the people could not secure food for themselves.  They couldn’t find it, couldn’t grow it, were in great need of it.  Then, in a snap, manna appeared all over the ground.  SNAP is the name of a Food Assistance Program in the US – but the Israelites did even less than Americans must do to qualify – less as in nothing. When they woke each day it was there – fields of manna.  God gave it freely; all the people had to do was harvest it…God asks them to remember: this food also will be a gift they do not earn.”

Keyes continues by quoting Wendell Berry from “The Gift of Good Land” saying:
            “The good land…is not given as a reward.  It is made clear that the people chosen for this gift do not deserve it, for they are a ‘stiff-necked people’ who have been wicked and faithless. To such a people such a gift can be given only as a moral predicament: having failed to deserve it beforehand, they must prove worthy of it afterwards; they must use it well, or they will not continue long in it.”

“They must use it well.”

If we, who are actively participating in God’s creation are, as Norman Wirzba says, to “affirm creation as a delectable gift, and as a divinely ordered membership of interdependent need and suffering and help’, aren’t we too called to “use it well”? Is this what shifts eating from the mundane and necessity into a spiritual practice that draws our soul closer to the life Christ would have us lead?
3“Eat” A paper presented to the 2013 gathering of The Moveable Feast. Carla Pratt Keyes 
4 Wendell Berry, “The Gift of Good Land, “ Flourish Magazine, Fall 2009
http://flourishonline.org/2011/04/wendell-berry-gift-of-good-land/



We live in a food-saturated culture: the food industry spends billions of dollars vying for our decision on what we eat to be in their favor.  News reports regarding latest research on what’s good for you or what’s bad for you can be found on the daily; restaurants try to out-do, out-bargain, out-advertise the others in the hopes that our eating routine will include them.  What does it mean to practice eating in the hope that this practice would indeed  “help us to attend to the work of grace in our lives and our times….” (Marjorie Thompson)   – how do we “use it well”?

Does it mean as Christians and as the church we counteract the messages that surround food?  That we refuse to use food as a tool in implementing power over others?  Does it mean we look at food labels and see who and what we are supporting through our simple staple purchases?  Does it mean as Christians and as the church we don’t just remember those who are physically hungry, but those hungering for companionship, peace, healing, and bring them to our table?  That we remember in the words of Scottish poet, Robert Burns, “that some have meat and cannot eat, and some have none that want it”?

How are we to faithfully respond to the abundant gift that has been given to us, much like the Israelites, with no strings attached, found in God’s creation meant to sustain all people and how are we to use it well?

Author Sara Miles provides one example of how we are to use it well. 

A self-described “unlikely convert…raised by atheists…a blue state, secular intellectual; a lesbian; a left-wing journalist with a habit of skepticism”(xii), Sara Miles shares her story of “an unexpected and terribly inconvenient Christian conversion” through taking her first communion in her book, Take This Bread.  She remembers how “eating Jesus…led me against all my expectations to a faith I’d scorned and work I’d never imagined. In that shocking moment of communion, filled with a deep desire to reach for and become part of a body, I realized that what I’d been doing with my life all along was what I was meant to do: feed people.” 4

Before becoming involved as a human rights advocate and journalist in Central America, Miles worked as a cook in New York, where she “learned that the rituals of even the plainest or most cynically prepared dinner could carry unconscious messages of love and comfort… [she learned] how central food is to creating human community…what eating together around a table can do.” 5
4 Miles, xi.
5 Miles, 23.

This is the Christian practice of eating.  This is God providing manna for all God’s people to share together.

This is Jesus cooking breakfast for his disciples around a campfire. I have hundreds of stories and observations of what eating around the table looks like.  Family dinners of crowded tables full of laughter, storytelling, and possibly a touch of chaos. Eating with the other food service workers in the archaic Refectory at Columbia Theological Seminary before our shift begins and we serve our fellow peers and guests.

There are the Montreat lunches where invitations are extended and guests are welcomed to sit, rest, and fill up on good home cooked food, prepared with love.   There are the dinners where those who are without food are remembered by the act of putting pennies in a jar. 

It is not about what food is provided, because we come hungering for something more.
 
Miles’ memoir walks through her journey of what it meant to go from being a stranger at the Christian table to being one who was serving at the table.   Starting from scratch, she began to explore the scriptures and traditions of the church.
She says,
“poking around in the Bible, I found clues about my deepest questions. Salt, grain, wine, and water; figs, pigs, fishermen, and farmers.  There were psalms about hunger and thirst, about harvests and feasting.  There were stories about manna in the wilderness and prophets fed by birds…And then in the New Testament appeared the central, astonishing fact of Jesus, proclaiming that he himself was the bread of heaven.  “Eat my flesh and drink my blood,” he says.  [Miles continues] saying she thought how outrageous Jesus was to the church of his time: He didn’t wash before meals; he said the prayers incorrectly; he hung out with women, foreigners, the despised and unclean.  Over and over, he told people not to be afraid.  [Miles] liked all that, but mostly liked that he said he was the bread and told his friends to eat him.”
Miles “couldn’t stop thinking about another story: Jesus instructing his beloved, fallible disciple Peter exactly how to love him: “Feed My sheep.”

Jesus asked, “Do you love me?”
Peter fussed: “Of course I love you.”
“Feed my sheep.”
Peter fussed some more.
“Do you love me?” Jesus asked again.  “Then feed my sheep.”
Miles says, “It seemed pretty clear. If I wanted to see God, I could feed people.” 6

Just as Jesus commands Peter in our Gospel reading this morning, Miles took to heart the words: Feed my sheep.  Miles opened The Food Pantry out of the very sanctuary where she took her first communion, at St. Gregory of Nyssa Episcopal Church in San Francisco.  Now in its twelfth year, their mission is to increase access to food for hungry people, and empower them to help each other.  Miles comes to recognize through serving, feeding, and eating with the homeless, the junkies, the immigrants, the single mothers and fathers, the kids, the sick that there was the “physicality at the heart of the story of Jesus…listening and sautéing, talking and tasting, feeding friends and eating together: it was a stew of words and acts and food.”

When it comes to Christian practices, I imagine myself at times feeling like Peter; I will willingly say I love Jesus, but it might take me three times of hearing what Jesus asks of me to actually respond in these practices. Feed my sheep, remember me, go, do.  Eating is all these things.

Eating is saying grace before our meal; even if we are eating alone – remembering the hands that planted, picked, prepared, and put it before us.   Eating is not just a practice for the self, but one to be lived out in the community and world around us. Eating as a Christian practice is breaking bread, blessing it, and sharing it.  Eating is remembering the bread of life and cup of salvation at every invitation; not just on Sunday mornings, once a month.
6 Miles, 92-93.

 My friend from seminary is currently interning in Durbanville, outside of Cape Town, in South Africa.  We were catching up through email, and sharing what our internships have included.  In brainstorming and sharing this sermon’s topic, Bethany shared this insight on her internship:

Interestingly, being on my SM, I've learned to say grace before every meal (EVERY meal) and it's a remarkable experience.  The ways we interact with one another are so different when we've just had a communal prayer.  You can't be anything but loving when you have acknowledged the presence of God at your table... Many of us are fortunate to not worry (for the most part) where our next meal is coming from.  Let's take the time to really be grateful for it and to understand the weight of it.

We can incorporate saying grace more on a regular basis, even in public – we can remember with the gifts Gods provides for us, to “use it well” and  be conscious of our wants versus our needs.  We can celebrate our own local resources and think creatively on how to make eating local available in other communities.

 We can invite strangers to our tables. 

So I challenge you, as you leave this morning and go into the week, put your eating into practice. 

Remember the sacred – the holy – that comes not only from blessing and breaking bread but from sharing it.  Whether it happens today as you head to your favorite brunch or lunch spot or happens later in the week, welcome someone at your table.  As you shop for groceries, remember to “use it well”.  And as you sit down to eat, say grace.

Even in public.