Musings on Pre-Surgery

I just finished my month on Pre-Surgery rotation.  For the month of July, I joined the special people who show up to UT Southwestern OR's at the crack of dawn.  Or maybe before the crack.  My alarm has been set for 4:30am since July 1st, and my bed time has been consistently 9:00pm, sometimes earlier!  Arriving at the hospital so early is equal parts creepy and peaceful.  It's quiet and I found myself really enjoying the time alone in the Chaplain's office area to center and focus myself.  It's creepy in that there's no one in our area at 5:30am, so every noise seems a bit misplaced.  During my time on pre-surgery, I've learned a few things about myself and about pre-surgery that I thought I would share. 

Learned Things About Pre-Surgery:

• It takes special people to work this early shift.  While it sort of is like working a night shift, it also isn't, because you leave work with plenty of daytime, normally around 2:00 or 3:00 pm.  The nurses I worked with were a lovely balance of perky and calming - something that is most definitely needed for many surgery patients so early in the morning. 

• Surgery is all about vulnerability. I wouldn't say all patients are necessarily willing to have surgery, but most don't just end up laying half exposed in our beds just for a giggle. To walk into a place where you willingly know you're going to be knocked out and cut open is a bit surreal and sometimes, scary.  People respond to this vulnerability and anxiety in a variety of ways, covering the entire range of human emotions. 

• Medical School Interns are HILARIOUS at 6:00 in the morning.  Especially on July 1st, their first day at the hospital. 

• Always check to make sure the patient's room number matches the name of the patient. ALWAYS.

• Sometimes a doctor will start a surgery a few hours early.  Sometimes a doctor will start a surgery a few hours late.  Flexibility is key. 

• The Unit Clerk is a key person to know on the surgery unit.  Seriously.  THEY KNOW EVERYTHING. 

Things I Learned About Myself on Pre-Surgery:

• I can be a morning bird.  I can be a night owl.  I cannot be both.  Especially on the same day. I turn into something quite wicked.   

• I can do anything for 30 days. Such as waking up for a shift at 4:30 in the morning. 

• I love people.  People are wonderful.  I thrive around people.  They bring me energy and life.  But, sometimes, after meeting with 15 families in the span of an hour, and then everyone else within another hour, I meet my people max by 10:00 am.  I have to go and put myself in isolation just to regroup and center myself.  

• I love stories.  I love hearing people's stories.  One of my favorite aspects of Pre-Surgery round is being able to hear patient's stories.  It doesn't happen every time, but when it does, man oh man is it special. 

• The foam in/foam out procedure KILLS my hands.  I have to wash my hands every other foam, and even then, my hands start to remind me how much they dislike the foaming.  

• Chaplains are the one person people can kick out of a room. And that's ok. If people can feel an ounce of control or power by asking my out, that is perfectly fine.  I make sure to leave them with a blessing, if not in the room, as I step outside and hand sanitize.

• Knowledge is power, but when it comes to pre-surgery, ignorance is bliss.  Especially in regards to the medical procedures being done to patients.  There is something in letting the patient's tell me what is going on with them.  I play a bit dumb (but really, I don't understand half of what the medical stuff is) and let them articulate what's happening.  This saves me from having to google a medical term, which I have found often does not end well. 

• I google more medical terms than I want to admit. And then I spend some time convinced I have that/will get it etc. 

• Laughter is medicine.  Humor can break down barriers and walls and transform a space, a face, and many a morning.  I love laughter.

• I need about 30 minutes after I wake up to just wake up.  This often involves my coffee and some Morning Edition from NPR. By the grace of God, I have about a 30 minute commute where both of these things are addressed. 

• Not the last thing I've learned, but maybe the best reminder I've remembered on Pre-Surgery - the Spirit works in wonderful and mysterious ways.  I never know how God's gonna use me when I walk into a room with a time limit maxed at about 5 minutes, but I know God is at work within me. It's another part of that wonderful, mysterious, and sometimes confusing way that God calls us into God's ministry.  And within all that mystery and within that 5 minutes, I know it is enough, and I am enough.  

Praise be to God!

"What do you do?" Part II

OK.  So there's been a bit of some time in between part one and part two, but all for the sake of learning!  A typical day in my life of a Chaplain at a hospital is quite varied, as I suggested in the other post. 

Here's what my day is often quite full of:

Me being awkward. 

Me having lots and lots of feelings.  

I can't emphasize the feelings business.  Praise the Lord that we have plenty of time and willing hearts and ears to hear about said emotions. 

If you change phone to pager, this is an accurate statement of what happens more often than I would like. Who would have thought all those times in the early 90's when I was jealous of my mom's pager, I would be getting one! My heart does weird palpitations when the pager goes off, and sometimes, I do go to bed praying the pager won't go off.  But it does.  And when it does, you do what you need to do to make sure the needs of the patient/family/staff are met.  It's good problem solving/triaging skills.

 

We write quite a bit.  Between charting for our patients, copious amounts of email communication, and writing a verbatim, there are so many words.  SO. MANY. WORDS.  And I normally love words.  But, I'm just kind of overwhelmed with all the words.  The talking, the writing, the reading, the talking some more, and then writing some more.  It's not always hard per se, it just often seems overwhelming. 

I pray a lot. THIS IS NOT A BAD THING.  Just an observation.  And it's often "off the cuff whatever is in your head and heart" kind of prayer.  Sometimes after I pray, I'm not a 100% sure exactly what I have said.  I ask patients if there is anything I can pray for specifically, and my heart just melts sometimes with responses.  Some mornings I feel the Spirit ever so present and at work.  And even on the mornings I don't "feel" it, I know the Spirit is at work in ways I can't imagine. 

(I would change this image to say, "Can I pray with you?", I'm more of a "with" person than a "for".)

 

More often than not, I get rejected when I walk into a room or ask if they would like a prayer.  I don't take it personally (for the most part).  I just realize I am one piece of the many pieces that make up a bigger puzzle picture.  In our CPE group, we use the image of planting seeds.  In this way, it is much like working in youth ministry.  You plant seeds and aren't ever really sure how they will take root and grow.  Sometimes you're blessed to see fruition come of ministry, but often times you just continue praying and holding them in your heart. It's a humble reminder that it's not about you, and God works in wondrous and mysterious ways, ways I will often never get to see. 

 

I hold hands more than I ever imagined.  This is one of the most powerful things I do at work.  Holding hands with a stranger takes some vulnerability on both parts.  I can relate with many patients in needing a hand to hold.  Most of the touch they receive here at the hospital is not at their request - it's blood being drawn, poking and prodding, and can be quite invasive.  While we all want healing of our bodies, it often does come at a cost.  I see patients who yearn for wholeness in their bodies yet tremble at the thought of another needle, another exam, another surgery, or another test.  I often joke in pre-surgery with patients that Chaplains are the one group of people at the hospital who will ask nothing of them - not even a signature!  To be responsive and accepting of the simple touch of a hand, the patient has the power to decide what they want - a power that often has been taken away while in the hospital. 

(Sometimes when joining hands with people, it can get a little awkward.)


Chaplains do many things. We help with Advance Directive and Medical Power of Attorney paperwork. We help with Decedent care paperwork.  We greet families in waiting rooms, we grab extra blankets for cold patients, we offer prayer or we sometimes offer jokes.  We meet patients where they need to be met, and we do it in the name of the One who calls us. 

When I enter a room, I pray that God will allow me to love this child as God loves them - unconditionally, with compassion, and remembering that they indeed are part of God's good creation.

 

The other day I decided I felt a bit like Patch Adams (without swimming pools of spaghetti). For the most part, I have the luxury of time to sit with patients and hear their stories.  In fact, that is one of my favorite parts of the job - hearing people's stories - honoring them and allowing them a safe space to share. 

 

So, I hope you feel you have a bit more insight into what exactly I do here at the hospital.  Every day is different, bringing new challenges and new blessings into my life.  It can be chaotic and tiring, but too can be calm and comforting.  Some days are uglier and smellier than I would like, but than some days the beauty and wonder of life are ever present.

All I can ask of each day is that God uses me as God's instrument.