Family at Service of Ordination |
This past week marked six months in my first call here at Westminster Presbyterian Church. It has been a whirlwind of a time, including: a beyond amazing service of Ordination and lovely Installation service in September, joining Company of New Pastors in October, lock-ins, sermons, retreats, movie nights, kitten parties, and a great Thanksgiving in Texas with the family. There's also been countless meetings, phone calls, breakfasts, lunches, and dinners (you know we church people love to eat!!) emails answered, and lots of time dreaming of what is to come for this church I have come to love so dearly.
Some of the BEST people I know! |
Not a day goes by that I don't recognize how extremely blessed I am to be doing what I love to do - working alongside the children of God to share how we see God at work in our world, learn more about God, ask questions and explore our God, and share the Good News with our world. These youth I work with are so extremely smart (seriously...I do super big grammar checks for my sermons so I don't get caught!), they're inquisitive, and so fun to be around. They are also ridiculously talented - I've been to football games, marching band exhibitions, orchestra concerts, and dance recitals and have just been in awe by their talent and passion.
My name in lights! (well....you know what I mean...) |
Amazing Installation Gift - Milo, the kitty |
And not only are the youth amazing, I have some of the best adults here at WPC who hold me, this ministry, this church in prayer and share willingly of their time and resources. I've been welcomed to book clubs, bible studies, brunches and dinners, and even just have been greeted with genuine hospitality and joy. I've been about to preach and confessed to how nervous I was and was gently encouraged by someone saying, "take a breath - you got this!" I've been trusted and supported to try new things (within the first year!) with prayer services and youth things, and things have not erupted in flames.
RETREAT! @ Calvin Center in Georgia |
God has been good and I feel affirmed to be where I am for this time and place - doing what God has called and created me to do. (Real talk - it has not always been smooth sailing - remember, all people, even pastors, have bad days...)
What, you don't hold squid while wearing goggles? |
God has been good.
But...
There is one thing I was aware of but not 100% prepared for in accepting this ordained life: how much I would miss home. Y'all, I cried from the opening chords of the prelude at my ordination service all the way through. It was this roller coaster of feelings - joy for sure! But also a sense of sorrow. I was leaving my home, my family and my church family. Yes, I know I've been away from Texas for over 5 years now, but in my head and heart, it was a temporary thing. In the past six months, not only have I been wrestling with this new call and life, but also with a longing for what has been.
Youth Singers & me at Christmas Cantata |
I've been musing about this blog post for quite some time, and recently read another pastor's piece on how he just wants to go home for Christmas. A combination of reading his piece (you can read it here), leading chapel for some amazing preschoolers on Luke 2, mixed with finding myself teary eyed every time I've entered Hobby Lobby or any other store that does giant Christmas displays, and a longing to get back into a somewhat regular writing practice has thus lead to this post today. No tea or sympathy is needed, just a reminder that there is much in our Christmas season that centers around being home, and there are many in the world who are trying to figure out what their "home" looks like, some who have no place to call home, others who are fleeing for safety from homes, or some who are away from home in order to keep others safe.
Singing with the choir at the Christmas Cantata. |
I've been caught multiple times talking about my "home" church, Canyon Creek Presbyterian Church in Richardson, TX, and finally a lovely member kindly reminded me that Westminster is my new home church. It wasn't done in malice or any kind of contempt - but it was kind of this ah-ha moment for me and caused me to shift my thinking.
Laying on of hands at Ordination at CCPC. |
Canyon Creek Presbyterian Church, the church that has nurtured my from a very early age, through my teenage years, through college, and then seminary, will always be my first home church. It is where I discovered a heart for music and worship. It is where I felt valued as a church member and child of God, even though I was a small child. It is where generosity of prayers, cards, and encouragement have sustained me through some seasons of sadness and turmoil. It will always be the place where my siblings and cousin and I sang 4 part harmony to Christmas carols, and where I fell in love with crunchy ice. Though just a building, the saints of the past and present members have been the ones who have continued to nurture me and helped me to articulate who God is: through many Vacation Bible Schools, through mission trips, through children's and youth choirs, through cups of coffee and doughnuts in the Atrium, through high fives in the hallways, and through sermons delivered. CCPC (or, Cuh Cuh Puh Cuh) will always hold a special place in my heart.
In this season of Advent, there has been one story that has kind of stuck with me the past month. It's in Luke 2, when the angel appears to the shepherds and says, "Do not be afraid - for I bring you good news of great joy for all people". One Christian publishing company (Sparkhouse) made a little cartoon version of this where it shows a shepherd just losing it in fear (his other shepherd buddies have passed out in fear) but this guy - he's crying out, shaking and trembling, and just can't handle himself. The angel tries to shush him and calm him in various fashions before picking him up like a baby, putting a pacifier in his mouth and rocking him to sleep, while singing a lullaby. Once he soothes him, the chorus of angels show up and everyone is full of joy.
Sometimes, even as adults, we need to be picked up, sung to, rocked, and comforted. Along with the joy of the news of the birth of our Savior comes a cup of comfort for the mysterious and unknown that too has come.
Along with the joy, comes a cup of comfort.
For those experiencing sadness or fear, the angel comes and reminds us in whom our comfort lies. For those of us experiencing our first Christmas away from home, surrounded by people yet still feeling alone, there is comfort. For those of us who are a bit blue about this Season of Joy, there is comfort. For those of us still feeling the loss of someone dear, there is comfort. For those of us finding ourselves overwhelmed with fears for the future, there is comfort. For those of us trying to figure out what "home" looks like for us, there is comfort. For those of us wandering in the darkness, seeking the light, there is comfort.
There is comfort and joy coming in the birth of a tiny babe.
There is good news of great joy for all people.
Praise be to God, and tidings of comfort and joy to you and yours this Christmas Season.